A man came up to me and said," you suck" You know what I told him "YOU SUCK!"

What's the difference between 2 flies? Their DNA

Q. Why did the mother dissagree with her son's choice in friends? A. Because they were a rather bad influence on him and his grades had gotten considerably worse since they started to hang out.

what do you call a muslim driving a plane? a pilot

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? Me :'(

What has three legs and bleeds? A cat with a cut off leg.

You know how geese fly in a V formation and sometimes one side is longer than the other. Do you know why that is? Because there are more geese on that side.

derp

Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because there is no such person as Micheal J. Fox. Michael J. Fox, on the other hand, cannot draw a perfect circle because he has Parkinson's disease.

What's the only type of wood that doesn't float? Natalie wood.

Why was Jimmy afraid of coming out of the closet? He had agoraphobia.

Why did Ralph fall off the swing He was distracted because he had a perfect view of the twin towers when 9-11 was happening

I jacked off over a blind girl the other day, she never saw me coming

old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

what's the difference between a pile of shit and a human. a human has a mind, a pile of shit doesn't

What does a cat sound like when it's being raped by a human? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!

Q: What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Nothing, they never met! :)

Hi

Knock. Knock. Who's There? Its Jim, is Craig home? No he moved out sorry.

How come the mexican couldnt support his family? Wendy's stopped hiring a week ago

if rooster puts egg on roof, in what direction it will roll? There was no egg

What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Cause he was dead.

Why doesn't the mexican have a job? Grad school is taking up too much of his time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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