Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

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What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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what is white and sticky? glue.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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what is the difference between a gay guy and Sarah Dwyer nothing the both like there sex but Sarah is a Guy.

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once three middle easterns were walking down the street bomb bomb bomb

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What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

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Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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whats gay ? you

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3 ducks are sitting in a pond. one with blonde feathers. one with brown feathers, and one with white feathers. A Transvestite Inbred Donkey Man kills them instantly.

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What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Real jokes.

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Lacrosse

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How many dislikes can this get?

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, yes.

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Ok, So what happens when an Irishman, Rabbi, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Nothing the Black guys a recovering alcoholic and is supported by his loving family and friends, especially by his son Martin who he promised to stop drinking when he was 7.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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