Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

What happens every 10 seconds in Africa? 10 seconds passes by.

Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

what's funnier than the holocaust? 2 holocausts and 9/11

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

Have you ever seen the mexican that went to college? Yes, the DREAM act increased the number of minorities in public universities

What did the anti-joke say? Nothing for it is an anti-joke which is a group of word formed to create a sentence and sentences cannot speak.

Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Knock knock. Who's there? I am.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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