A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

That's what he said.

What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

What happens every 10 seconds in Africa? 10 seconds passes by.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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