Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why did the cat roll down the hill? A: It had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

This post contains NOTHING.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I came.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Cause 7 is black.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the old man step on the caterpillar? For fun.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: what do polo bears have for lunch A: iceburger

thumb_up thumb_down +10

you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock, Knock Who's there? The KKK

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

two fish are in a tank.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Baseball

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops