Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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Why....... Because.

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What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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4 out of 5 Americans make up 80% of Americans

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a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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What do you do when you see a black man? The same thing you do when you see anybody.

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What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

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Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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What did the mole say? Nothing

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A man walks into a pole and freezes to death.

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there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the light was green

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what's the difference between a babie and a watermelon. one's fun to hit with a hammer. . . ht other ones a watermelon.

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Wat do u call a 2 root tall scottidh man named max? Max

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What did the man say to the atractive woman? Hi

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops