Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the black man do for his family? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +19

yo mama so fat she's fat

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a black man who graduated med school? A doctor

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what's the difference between a babie and a watermelon. one's fun to hit with a hammer. . . ht other ones a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Is that a threat or a promise? dragonflies

thumb_up thumb_down +17

jokes r dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Bob: What's gucci bro Tim: Is that a company?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the best part about seventeen-year-olds? There's seven of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the arrow hit the knee? the same reason pigs cant fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

anti jokes are like dogs They both rhyme with Maths

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black guy that sings? A singer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your Mamma is so poor that she begs for money.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops