Your mother is so ugly that your father no lomger finds her attractive

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

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Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

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Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

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Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -I don't care

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

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What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

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What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

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S.O.P.A

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Three men walked into a metal pole

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What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

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if u r not my friend, like this joke

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What do you get when an Alabama and an LSU kid are mixed?A small child who grows up in a world of fighting and domestic violence.

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(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Knock. Knock. No one is home. Okay.

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How can a black man burn his pop-tarts? If he leaves them in the toaster for too long.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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