You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

thumb_up thumb_down +114

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

thumb_up thumb_down +74

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

I like to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

thumb_up thumb_down +42

what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A boy with red hair is happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Oh...okay, good.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

whats worse than the holocaust??? finding it in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +34

there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Donald Duck go to college? He didn't, he's a fictional cartoon character.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops