How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

A chicken walked into the bar...

Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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