Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

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Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

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the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

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why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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Hi my names Sarah and I love baby's. I don't think I could eat a whole one though

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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