What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

woman's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a man dyslexic into bar walks a

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's worse than being hiv+? having full blown aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the dog cross the road? To eat the chicken. Why did the police officer cross the road? To tranquilize the dog and the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops