What page are you on The gay page.

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Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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So a bar walks into a man...

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What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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