What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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69, Is funny because the numbers are backwards

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Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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How do you get an elephant in the fridge in three moves open the door, put it in, close the door How do you put an giraffe in the fridge in four moves open the door, take out the elephant, put the giraffe in, and close the door

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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