Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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What happens when two Mexicans walk up to blonde and a red head sitting in car? The Mexicans attempt to smash the windshield with crowbars because they have issues with anger. The redhead turns on the car and reverses safely.

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A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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America

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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Poop...

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why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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why did nick leave school? bECAUSE HE WAS RETARDED

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ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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