An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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A man walked into a blind child's house and made him see again. He stepped outside, walked into traffic, and died as he was not used to the light.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had one nut

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

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women's rights.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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Why is this joke funny It isn't

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A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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Justin Port#$ falls out of a tree. What happens? he breaks his neck and unfortually dies a long painful death.

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What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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