whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

Wanna hear a joke? Women Voteing. -Austin Conradt

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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