"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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Ubisoft presents a game by ubisoft

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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What do you call a bird with a broken wing? A bird with a broken wing.

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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Why did the boy fail math? He got bad grades.

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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A pope meets another one

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops