A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

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Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

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Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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