What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...