In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

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whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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A white man, hispanic man, and a black man walk into a bar together. They order cokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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