A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

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A man is traveling to the nearest grocery store. He stops at an intersection and notices a another car beside him. It was a black corvet. So he blew it up and the men inside of it as well. He then proceeded to call the cops as to try to cover the explosion up as if it was not his fault. Unfortunately, the police had video evidence of the incident through video surveillance and the man was arrested for life. He never got a second chance in life and eventually died a slow, painful death in the hands of cancer at the age of 91.

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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