why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops