Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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One, two, three, four and five

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

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Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops