How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

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What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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Why did Billy fall off the tree? Why? Because he had no arms or legs. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy

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Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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