Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Q: Why couldn't the ginger play soul music ? A: He couldn't hit the right notes

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"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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