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God is real.

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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Ask me if i'm a serial killer Are you a serial killer? Yes and I killed your family

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was a serial rapist with a anger problem

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i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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