A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? I can't remember... :(

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops