why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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why did the man have an axe in his car he kills children with it

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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What's the difference between a dead Blackman in the road and a dead dog in the road? There's skid marks in front of the dog.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other muffin says nothing because it is a muffin.

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

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What did the American WWII soldier say to the Feudal-era samurai? Nothing, because the two lived on completely different continents and in completely different time periods.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

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what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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I will create more jobs for americans

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What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops