why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

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A blind man walks into a bar... He tragicly attracts aids and dies as the bar is shut down for health purposes

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What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian pastry with tomato sauce, cheese and other toppings and the other is a human being.

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Q:What's black and white and red all over? A: An interracial couple in a car crash.

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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Shltskc gw? G

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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