An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

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I'm going to rewrite history. History.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

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Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

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A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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A Palestinian woman walks into a library. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Betty White's wrinkly ass skin.

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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