Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

HOW MANY CRACK-HEADS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? NONE, THERE AIN'T NO ELECTRICITY IN THE CRACKHOUSE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why is there art classes so people can make beautiful pieces of art :)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

NO I AM NEROCHAN LEFT!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse then ten dead babies in a barrel? The one at the bottom is still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops