What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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Why did the chicken Cross the road? Because a Blackman was chasing his dinner

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So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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NEVER

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What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops