What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

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-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

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I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

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What did the teenage girl get for just sweet 16? An abortion

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A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

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EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops