Your at a racism seminar. You learn not to call black people the n word but you know they really deserve it

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock Knock whos there? a black man ohh ok come in

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

jess always squints her eyes when making a point

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call an Ex-Penn State coach who is anal to young boys? - Strict

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops