What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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A house comes around the corner.

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What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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69

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

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What did the guy day to the other guy with an afro on his head? You look like a guy with an afro on his head.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

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What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops