A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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glens walk to the kitchen : The Green Mile

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What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

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What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

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Small Penis.

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What did Osama bin Laden say when he heard loud gunshots outside his millitary compound? A: We'll never find out

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Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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Tunechi

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2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open it.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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Japan

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why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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