How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes a noise and a second Jew elbows him so he'll keep quiet. They are heard and are all caught. It's now their turn to seek because they are playing Hide n' Seek.

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How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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Q: What's one thing that 5 out of 6 people always agree on? A: Gang Rape

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Justin Bieber

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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