Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by a car. I lied about him crossing the road.

whats the meaning of stonehenge? ask the ones that built it!

What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was suicidal.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...