How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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why did the family have dinner? they were hungry and it was 6:00

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what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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What's red & is bad for your face? A brick.

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Why didn't the black man understand an anti-joke? Because like any other member of the human race, he expected a typical joke structure to occur, starting with a misleading introduction which then using surrealism or misguidance trails into a humorous punchline.

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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Justin Bieber.

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a gay guy is in a club, from across the room he sees another attractive man with now shirt and he gets an erection.

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A hooker walks into a hospital. Only to find out that she has aids.

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What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

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What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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