Two guys walk into a bar. They have drinks, pay for them, then get into a car crash killing a mom and her daughter returning home from selecting a wedding dress. The wedding is canceled. Rate This Comment 0

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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