Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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what do blondes and rocks have in common? they are both material and have extension.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

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What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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So these two girls have a cup .

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Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops