Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Wh do you call a Zeebra without black and white stripes? A horse

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What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

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why did the boy scream? because he got shot.

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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EVERYONE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND!! DYSLEXICS ARE TEOPLE POO!

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A man didn't feel well so he went to the toilet. He had explosive diahrria, then felt better.

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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What's black, then white, then dead all over? Michael Jackson

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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josh is a skinny headed keppy mong

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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