Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

thumb_up thumb_down -35

one of my best friends is blind and hasn't been able to see anything hhis entire life but he can hear a hummingbird from 50 yards away i mean, talk about worthless..

thumb_up thumb_down -35

My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did you chicken cross the road? C u n t.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

thumb_up thumb_down -35

how did a white girl have a black baby? she was raped at the age of thirteen.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I need a way to meet local babes and get ripped in 4 weeks. Shame there aren't any popularly advertised methods of doing that around here...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

So a guy comes into a bar... And he is cited for public indecency.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's worse than getting a F on your History test? The millions of children around your age that cannot even afford to go to school, most likely because they live in a third world country.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

thumb_up thumb_down -37

"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops