Why couldn't the little kid get to sleep? His dog was on fire

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

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Why did the girl not get her mum a christmas present? Because she was adopted to two men when she was born, so it would be hard to give her mum a present...............................................

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

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Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

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What did the red paint say to the blue paint? They said nothing. Paints don't talk and you need to see a doctor if you answered anything else.

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50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

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What do you call a black guy surrounded by a gang of white guys? I don't know, maybe if you asked him his name you would find out.

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cory is gay

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If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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Wgat did the umpire say to the asian batter? Foul ricebowl!

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Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

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A muslim man with a long beard and wearing a turban and robe boards an aircraft with a large suitcase. The plane later arrives at its destination a few minutes past the estimated arrival time due to bad weather.

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What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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Why are there cookie's in the jar? 'Cause I put cookies in the jar

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

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Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

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whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

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Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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