A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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How did the black man manage to get that 42 inch TV? He had been working a lot of overtime at work to try and treat his wife and kids.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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What did the racist say to the other racist? Hey how was yesterday's clan meeting?

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what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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Male leadership.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? An opera singer singing in the shower

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Why do people who walk into bars never have names?

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Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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what do you call a ginger......... billy and mickee.......

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Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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