Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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What do you call a Mexican that is jumping off a building? A suicidal jumper!

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What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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Knock Knock! But nobody was home and couldn't hear it.

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As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

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How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

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Why couldn't little Billy fall asleep. Because Billy didn't have any counting skills to be able to coins sheep

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old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had Alzheimers and forgot that he lived on the other side of the street.

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had an amusement park in her backyard? Neither did she.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops