What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

i saw a garbage truck it had garbage in it

What is worse then failing a test? Cancer

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

Baaaaaaahhhhhh

I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

P0P T4Rt

There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

An Amish walks into Best Buy

Hi Danny it's Louis Tehe

What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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