A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? This is a psychological question which the egg came from the chicken, but the chicken also came from an egg, so the world may never know exactly.

How did the black guy survive from drowning? Years of Swimming lessons at his local YMCA

If you spill milk Don't cry over it..... Clean it up.

What's the difference between a 1980 mustang and a pile of dead babies? I don't have the mustang in my garage.

Why are black men's genitals larger than white men's genitals. Black men's genitals are made up of more skin cells.

Q: What's worse than a worm in you're apple... A: The fact that you have all-timers and can't remember...

Is it hungry in here? Or is it just me?

Like this if you want people to stop asking to have their jokes liked.

Knock, Knock Who's There

Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

What did it say on the banner for an international dyslexics support group? Dyslexics of the world unite.

Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? Their skin color.

Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

What did the child molestor do? He went home and molested children.

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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