Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

What has two legs? Half a cat

Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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